The incredible increasing speed of life

My traveling muffin got back last Monday night. For all except Logan, the reunion has been warm and poignant. (He was only 20 months old when she left and really doesn't know what to do with her).

During the last week we have been busy, busy, busy. There was the unpacking, the doctor's appointments, the hair appointments, and the at-first-very-interested listening, and then the tolerantly-polite-trying-not-to-yawn listening to the seemingly endless list of Venezuela wonders. There was lots of Venezuelan candy and cookies to eat, a driver's license to get replaced (her purse was stolen while there), and MOUNDS of correspondence from Boston University to go through.....did you know that the beds in the dorms require extra long twin sheets? I didn't.

And then there's the emotional work; getting reacquainted (cuz we all have changed), some minor psychological trauma from a lunch with the ex-boyfriend, and some moderate psychological trauma from not being able to fit into all the clothes that she left here. But the biggest emotional trauma has been leaving "Mi amor de vida" (the love of my life) back there. She is definitely suffering all the symptoms of one separated from her beloved.

I honestly tried to get her to stand in front of this sign so I could take her picture, but she was constantly flitting away to meet another friend to catch up. And now she's gone again. She and the stud-ly muffin went on a week-long mission trip with their dad's church to Tennessee. She'll be back. I know this is true. But somehow this separation is a little harder -- maybe because I just got her back and then had to let go. But really, even when she was here, she wasn't really here. Any of you Empty-Nesters reading this know what I mean. She loves us, is happy to see us and be together and all that, but there's a different kind of separateness....and unto herself-ness that wasn't there before she left for the exchange. I KNOW this is what's supposed to happen. It's still a bit of a shock.

The moral of the story (for me, mainly), is that when the mini-muffins are driving me ABSOLUTELY INSANE, I try, try, try, try, try, try, try, TRY, T R Y to remember that it won't be long before they are in a space unto themselves.

Experiencing technical difficulties

Today was the day that Befy was SUPPOSED to come home. We had changed all the rooms around, again, so she'd have her room back. I got the "Welcome Home" sign, and the bouquet of balloons to make her airport arrival more festive. The mini-muffins had been expectantly making black Xs on the calendar.

SIGH.

Her dad called at 7 this morning letting me know that she wouldn't be coming home today. Apparently, the travel agency that Rotary works with did not carry through Befy's change in her return date of June 15 to the airlines. So when she arrived today to check in, the airlines had a seat for her....on July 1, the Rotary return default date, but nothing for her today.

Fortunately for me, Befy's dad is the kind of person who enjoys making righteously indignant telephone calls, and I'm confident that he will contact every person with the tiniest bit of connection to this gaffe and give them what for.

Unfortunately for me, I have to wait ONE. MORE. DAY.

Happy Mother's Day

Here's my Mother's Day haul:





Flowers and chocolate....what more could a woman ask for?



But really.....here are my true gifts:

Nobody said it would be easy....but Sheesh!!

If you're a regular reader you know that my oldest, my only daughter, is spending a year in Venezuela on a Rotary exchange. She turned 18 last September. That means, that according to the U.S. military, Voter's Registration, tobacco and credit card companies, piercing/tattoo joints, and pretty much everyone else except bars and liquor stores, consider her an adult. (Actually, in Venezuela, the legal drinking age is 18, so she's 100% an adult there).

I'm not sure how/why 18 became the age that was deemed the starting line for adult decision-making. It seems kind of arbitrary to me. In fact, one prominent brain researcher is finding that the human brain hasn't reached complete development, with typical adult decision-making abilities, until around age 25. (Interestingly, the amount of grey matter doesn’t peak until age 30, and the amount of white matter doesn’t peak until age 45!)

In my work I find myself explaining these concepts to lots of parents of adolescents. They're usually convinced that their kid is being an idiot ON PURPOSE. I tell them that Sally and Johnny really aren't able -- they do not have the brain equipment -- to make wise, reasoned decisions like they are. Their brains just aren't done yet. They might look like young adults, and talk like young adults, but their brains are not there. I had one dad who interrupted me mid-brain development lecture and say "I know....they're turkeys." I said "what??" He said "you said they were weren't done growing yet -- like taking a turkey out of the oven too soon."

It's all fine and dandy when I'm talking to other parents about their kids' stupid decisions and lack of insight. It's easy for me to be compassionate and calm and reassuring to other parents, but when it comes to my own, it's a different story.

My daughter recently revealed that she's fallen in love with a young Venezuelan man. This really isn't a huge surprise -- she's a lovely young woman with a healthy interest in the world around her. And, she'd already had a minor romantic fling shortly after her arrival to South America with a fellow high school student.

The young man she's interested in is also interested in her. Well, more than interested. He thinks she's all that and a bag of chips. This should be a good news to me, right?? Most moms want their children to grow up and find love....soul satisfying love, gut wrenching love, the kind of love that brings an atheist to his knees in prayer. Of COURSE I do! But, (you knew that was coming) not when she's 18. First there's the whole brain-not-done-yet, thing. And, trailing close behind is this other thing. The young man? He's 28.

This just isn't ok with me. And I don't really care that it's common in Latin American countries for boyfriends/husbands to be much older than their girlfriends/wives. That's in Latin America. And my daughter is not Latin American. She's as white bread as they come!

But I digress. The real issue here is that whatever decisions she's making about her future really aren't founded in solid decision-making capability.

Sweetheart, you're a turkey. I mean that with all the love in the world. And when you're done, you are going to be even more amazing than you already are. Mom.




PS This stuff has taken up quite a bit of my mental and emotional energy lately. I hope that explains the lack of regular posts. If I could just find a way to chain her to her bed and throw away the key to her chastity belt.

Befy Update #8

Only 3 more months!
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Hi guys, I can´t believe how fast the time has gone by, it has now been six months since I´ve seen any of you accept Carter, weird, huh? This month has been interesting and fulfilling, with different problems and fun things.

After Carnaval I started back at school, this past month of classes has brought me closer to my girl friends who are all really wonderful people and provide me with never-ending emotional support. I felt really special on Valentine´s Day, which is the day of love AND friendship, becuase my friends and I all exchanged gifts. The other change in school is that I´ve kind of stopped doing the work for a few of my classes (namely Biology, Pre Military Instruction, and Geography), because the work is basically just copying from the book and I feel like I spend a lot of time learning nothing. So, the result of that is my failing those three classes this semester, but oh well, it´s not like it counts right?

This month has also gotten me more involved with Rotary and Rotaract, and broughten me closer to Beto (I´m pretty sure I mentioned him in the last note...). A couple of weekends ago I went with the Rotaract group to the beach for the weekend. The beach was about three hours away and we stayed in a posada, which is basically like a youth hostel, in that there aren´t any amenities and the rooms hold six people each. The beach was beautiful and had a river running into it, so you could get all dirty and sandy from the giant waves of the ocean and then wash it all off in the river. I had a great time hanging out with the crazy Rotaract kids, and the view on the drive home of the ocean at sunset is something I won´t forget in my entire life.

The other interesting thing is the political situation with Colombia and Ecuador, which I´m not going to comment too much on, since my dad gets nervous when I talk about politics on facebook. The only thing I have to say is that it might become hard to get food pretty soon, since they closed the borders economically with Colombia, and they provide most of the imported food. And that´s just when we finally got milk again! Anyway, read up on that in the news if you´re interested.

Well, I guess that´s about it for this month, I´m looking forward to the three months I have left here, especially the trip to La Gran Sabana in May, and a possible trip to Mérida in April with my host aunt. There is also the possibility of travelling over Semana Santa (basically a week of spring break) which starts the week after next.

I love all of you guys and I miss you lots and lots. My return date is June 15, so mark it on your calenders, and I can´t wait to see all of you!

Hugs and Kisses,

Bethany

Befy Update #7

Sounds like she's doing pretty well! We're hoping to see her by mid-June....4 more months.

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My Fifth Month in Venezuela, more school, more vacations

8:20pm Tuesday, Feb 5

Ok, so this month went by blindingly fast, a lot of happenings and miss-happenings that I will now fill all of you in on.

I left of last month with starting school again, school itself hasn´t much changed, except I´ve started hanging out with a different group of people, mainly the girls, and I´ve met and talked to some people that I hadn´t before. We also started to ride the public busses after school, which has given me a lot more freedom to be with my friends after school. I´ve also gotten really lazy with my school work, and I basically only try in math, chemistry, and physics, which are the fun classes here, and the classes in which I´m better than everyone else (Mrs. Tyson will laugh at that!).

I´ve also been able to skip a lot of school. A couple of weeks ago I skipped Thursday and Friday to take a trip with two of my host aunt´s to Maturin to visit my host cousin. Maturin is on the eastern side of Venezuela close to Guyana. The drive was really interesting, watching the country turn from mountains, to jungle, to beach, to desert, and I also got to see all the oil fields, and the tiny little towns that all seem to have some sort of food specialty that they sell by the roadside.

My host cousin is young, about 28, so we had a lot of fun in Maturin going out at night with her friends, and I got to go to a disco for the first time, which was awesome, I hadn´t been able to dance since New Year´s Eve.

Maturin was just a regular Venezuelan city, very dirty and run down, with a lot of pro-Chavez grafitti, but at least I got to spend some time with my host aunts and cousins and skip school for a few days.

Recently we traveled again to Barquisimeto during the wondeful holiday of Carnaval, where basically everyone goes crazy, dresses up, and throws water balloons, eggs, and worse things at perfect strangers. Luckily I was only the victim of a water balloon.

We also had a huge party at our school, complete with lots of fun, disgusting games (peeling an onion with your teeth? Rolling around in the mud?). And I had to ride the bus home muddy with my face painted blue and in sweatpants, and men STILL yelled things at me (that´s Venezuela for you, folks!)

After the party we got Friday, the next Monday and today off from school and the whole family went to Barquisimeto to visit the grandparents. We went to the movies, visited the Misión, where I got to do a zipline through the giant trees, and to a antique flea market, and I also got to ride a horse way up in to the mountains! All in all it was really fun, and I´m looking forward to the next month!

Carter in Venezuela

Carter and his dad traveled to Venezuela to visit Bethany over the holidays. Here are some pics of them:




Not sure why he's grumpy here.....






Yes, her swimsuit should be bigger.....










I think this was taken on New Year's Eve

They're such sweet muffins!

Befy Update #6

Bethany has to write these notes as part of her Rotary requirements. I'm really grateful for this because I'm starting to think she wouldn't do it if she didn't have to. The amount of contact she makes with me has dropped significantly since she arrived there 4 months ago. And although I miss communicating with her, I know it's a very good thing.


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Fourth Month in Venezuela: Vacations! 1:46pm Monday, Jan 7


Hello everybody, let me wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, I hope everyone ate a lot of goodies and partied hard (I know I did). So this month was all vacation, I got out of school the 7th and I went back today.

It was nice to have a break from the routine of things for a little while, and I got to do some pretty cool stuff during the month. Right after school got out, we had a Rotary party for Christmas in my house. The young people from Rotaract came too, and it was the first time I had seen them since Halloween. I got to talking with a few of them and I told them that I wanted to join Rotaract, which resulted in my name being put on the emailing list and being invited to THEIR Christmas dinner (which was fun, by the way), and also to making a new, very good friend, Beto.

The next day he invited me to a baseball game with some more people from Rotaract, which was the funnest thing ever, because Venezuelans go absolutely insane with the tiniest excuse, so the baseball game was basically like a very long, loud party, complete with dancing and music. I also got beer in my hair when Caracas won.

I then had a very lonely week in the house, while my host mother and sister were finishing up moving their stuff from Anaco, and I finished up my college applications.

For Christmas, which they celebrate the 24th until midnight, we had about 15 people staying in our house for the big party. There was music, and drinking, and dancing until midnight when baby Jesus brought the presents. (I don´t know why baby Jesus brings presents here and not Santa, but that´s just the way it is!) Then we all sat down to a traditional Venezuelan Christmas dinner which includes: Hallaca-a boiled dish which is bascially meat, vegetables, olives, and raisins wrapped up in cornmeal, which is then wrapped in banana leaves and boiled (although this doesn´t sound too good, I swear to you that it´s delicious), Pan de Jamon- bread which is wrapped around ham, olives and raisins, kind of like a wrap sandwich, Ensalada de Gallina-which is basically chicken salad, and Pernil-a kind of porkchop like dish.

The next day my dad and Carter came to visit me! They stayed in my house and my host family was nice enough to plan stuff for them to do. We toured around Parque del Este in Caracas, we went to another baseball game (Caracas won again), Beto showed us around to the museums and historical places in the center of Caracas, we went to the beach, and the next day rode the famous cable car called the Avila up a mountain in Caracas.

The last day my family was here, the 31st, was the big New Year´s Eve party, which was basically like Christmas except for the fact that there were no presents and that the entire world lit off fireworks without stopping when the clock struck midnight. We ate at midnight again, with all the traditional Christmas foods, and then caught a few hours of sleep until we had to take my dad and Carter back to the airport.

My last week of freedom I spent sick in the house of a host aunt in Caracas while my host mother and father went to Anaco again to tie up some loose ends.

As I mentioned, I started school today and I have lots of things to look forward to in the six months I have left here. I´m excited about doing things with Rotaract and with Rotary, I have lots of fun at school, and I am really looking forward to spending the time I have left with my wonderful host family, and hopefully in June I´ll be able to go to the Gran Sabana (can you tell I´m looking forward to that? I think I´ve mentioned it in at least two of my four notes).

I hope all of you fulfill your New Year´s resolutions! Know that I miss you a lot and think about you only a little less than before. Kisses and hugs!

Bethany


A very tiny me...

Not home

Everyone who reads this expected Bethany to be home by now. She isn't. And as far as I know, she won't be until the official end of her exchange experience.

After the election on December 2 went without any major violence, and the socialist changes proposed in the Referendum failed, Bethany decided that she was safe again and her dad and the Rotary officials agreed. She is staying for now.

Her dad and Carter will be visiting her over the week between Christmas and New Year. Her dad will "assess" the situation and see how things really are. She doesn't want to leave. She still misses us and being home, but she doesn't want to lose out on this opportunity. I understand but.....

I'll say it again.......it's hard being a Mom.

Befy Update #5

Thanks to everyone who has been thinking about, praying for and asking about Bethany. The last 7-10 days have been very intense, scary and difficult. She was practically frantic by Thursday of last week and asking to come home. Her dad and I had multiple conversations trying to decide what to do and how to do it. We were concerned about how she would handle losing out on this experience, the one that she had planned for and worked hard at adjusting to, and wondering how much of her panic was her (Bethany is just a scooch dramatic at times), and how much was due to real danger. After we heard about U.S. military diverting some ships to the Caribbean because of the election, we decided it was time to pull her out.

Bethany's dad contacted about everyone related to Rotary that he could to get some action. Unfortunately, there wasn't any way to get her out before today, election day, but she'll be on a plane this coming Thursday, December 6. She's currently in a gated community with a family member of her host family's. I chatted with her today and she said she felt safe but is very unhappy about having to come home. That's to be expected. There will be time enough for her to get over her anger and disappointment while she's here for the rest of the year.

For now, I'm breathing a HUGE sigh of relief.

Don't feel much like cooking.....

This is Bethany's latest post:
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The political situation and my safety

11:42am Today

Hello everyone, of you have been reading my notes or are remotely in touch with me you know that I am spending an exchange year in Venezuela. Venezuela is very politically unstable right now because the President, Hugo Chavez wants to turn the country socialist. On Sunday there will be a vote on a reform of the constitution which proposes among other things: restrictions of internet access, government control of schools, children would be under the government´s total authority, a mandatory dress code, no drinking alcohol in public, the list goes on. There have been many demonstrations in the cities of Venezuela against the constitutional reform, and since marches and protests are illegal, the army has put these protests down with force, resulting in countless injuries and many deaths. During the lead up to the elections there have been rumours of numbers of things: that Chavez will cancel the elections before hand and enforce military rule, that he will do so after, that the army will put down any marches with even more violence, etc. Everyone is scared and everyone is keyed up. So where does this leave a US exchange student?

Here are my plans for the elections as laid out to me by my host family. Classes ended today at 10:00 in the morning when the army came and took over the school for the elections (it´s a voting center). Let me tell you that nothing wakes you up in the morning like fully uniformed men carrying kalishnikovs in your school´s cafeteria. For the next two or three days I will be here in my house in Carrizal, but I won´t be allowed to leave our enclosed compound because it´s too dangerous for people with light skin and eyes. On Friday or Saturday my host parents will drop me and my host sister off at my host aunt´s house in Caracas, and will then go to vote about six hours away in the town they used to live in. From what it seems like to me, there will be deaths in Caracas. I will be packed and ready to go to the airport if Rotary decides to pull us out. Rotary in the United States, however is now negotiating with Rotary in Venezuela and my parents to see if they want to get us out before the elections. I´m fairly certain of my own personal safety at this point, but I´m also fairly certain that I´ll either breath tear gas for the first time in my life, or, I hope to god no, see my first murder. Keep me in your prayers, and I´ll keep you updated.

Lots of love,
Bethany

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My daughter's safety has been on my mind non-stop. I have been pushing for her to come home for about a week now, especially since she got sick (she may have Chron's disease). I'm sure it sounds selfish because you all know how much I miss her. There's a little bit of that going on (about .05%) but the rest is pure "Mom Gut" telling me she's not safe and she needs to leave that place.

She's having a very, very hard time because she's become so attached to the place and the people. And if she decides to leave herself, Rotary won't place her somewhere else to finish out the year. If Rotary decides to pull her, they will likely place her somewhere else. It's a sticky situation and meanwhile, the tension and threats of violence increase. On Monday a demonstrator was killed in a town 2 over from Bethany's. Please keep her (and us) in your thoughts and prayers. Hopefully she'll be home for Christmas.

Befy Update #3

It seems like a long, long time since Bethany left for Venezuela. We're actually 4 days shy of 2 months. That's not that long. But when it's your daughter, and the only other female in your immediate family, it's a long time.

Yesterday I was missing her female comraderie so much that I slept in her room, in her bed, under the quilt that my Nana, her Nana and I worked on. It's only a simple quilt, but it's girly and was made with lots and lots of love. It felt good being under it and thinking about where I came from, the women who have been (are) ahead of me and the woman who is behind me. That helped. I didn't feel quite so alone.

So, here is her monthly update:

My second month in Venezuela, or no quiero regresar!

Hi guys in the US, I have just completed my second month in Venezuela, and I am very content, and very settled in. My Spanish has grown by leaps and bounds, and people I talk to for the first time say that my Spanish is perfect ( but it´s only because they haven´t gotten to know me well). I CAN say everything I want to say 99 percent of the time without my dictionary, which is a big improvement, and I understand practically everything people say to me, which makes my time in school a lot easier and a lot less frustrating. Now I´m focusing on learning the culture so I can really start to integrate myself in to the life here.
Something I´m really satisfied with are my friends. I´ve come to wholeheartedly love and appretiate the friends I´ve made, they are so great, and in the 1 month I´ve been in school, they have already supported me and helped me through so much. My social life has also picked up, although it´s hard to negotiate around my host family´s plans, mostly because my host mother likes to change them at the last minute.
Speaking of my host family, I finally feel comfortable living here as part of this family, that it took two months to feel that way wasn´t their fault but mine. They welcomed me from the first day, and always included me in family activities and duties, it just took me a little while to shed my ingrained politeness and step out of the guest-shell I had been living in. I can´t imagine the pain I´m going to feel when I have to go back to the states in July, it will probably top the pain I felt at leaving my family in the US, since this time I know that it isn´t garaunteed that I will see them again.
The only thing that throws a shadow over my exchange so far is the political situation here. For those of you who don´t know, the President of Venezuela is Hugo Chavez. Chavez has been slowly gaining power by taking over the public schools, which teach the poor children who can´t afford private school, that Chavez is close to a God and will solve all of Venezuela´s problems. He has also taken over the free television channels, so the poor are constantly fed propaganda. At the same time, he is trying to push through a major reform to the constitution which totally bans access to the internet, restricts free speech, sets a country-wide dress code, and takes over control of what all the schools in Venezuela teach. Chavez will have no trouble passing this reform, since the National Assembly of Venezuela was handpicked by him, after an earlier constitutional reform. While Chavez focuses on gaining power, there is a shortage of wheat, sugar, eggs, milk, and cooking oil, and bread is starting to be rationed ( the other day my sister and I were sent to buy french bread, and they would only let us buy three small loaves per person). There have been marches in protest in Caracas and Maracaibo, which were put down violently by the government-controlled police. Many people were injured in Caracas, and a girl was killed in the march in Maracaibo. I saw all of this on the last non-government controlled station in Venezuela CAN-TV .
Despite the disturbances in the big cities, I am perfectly safe here, for those of you who would worry. As long as I lay low in the streets and don´t participate in any protests I should be fine. Daily life here continues as normal , and I can still go to school, and although the necessary food stuffs are a little harder to find, I have never gone hungry here.
Everyone take care of yourselves in the United State, and now that I am happy here and having a great year. I´ll write again in a month!

Love,
Bethany

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Yes, I'm worried and afraid for her. I've already asked her if she'd consider coming home early and she "No way!" Her dad and Carter are going to visit her the week between Christmas and New Years. That will help us get a sense of how she really is.

It's hard being a mom.

Befy Update #2

Per the once a month phone call rule, I called and spoke to Bethany for about 30 minutes today. She sounded decidedly happier and more relaxed about her stay in Venezuela. She caught me up on what school was like and the friends she is making (mostly boys). She gets up around 5 am every day to get to school by 6:50 am. It doesn't take her that long to get ready, and the school isn't that far away. She says the traffic is terrible and they spend a lot of time in the car trying to get anywhere. Her day is spent at school in "salons" made up of classes of students who have been together since grammar school. They have PE only once a week but they have a "recess" every day during which they can eat a snack. She says she loves the epanadas and that the avocados, some biggerthan grapefruits, are practically given away because they're so plentiful. Sounds like heaven to me!

Below is a post that she wrote for her Facebook profile. She said she forgot how to post to her blog so I guess she's writing about her experiences on Facebook.

Mì primera mes en Venezuela (My first month in Venezuela)

4:35pm Thursday, Oct 4

Hello everyone stuck in the boring United States! It has been one month since I arrived in Venezuela and I can't believe it. It is absolutely beautiful here. I'm living in a house in the mountains in the city of Carrizal, which is about 30 miles (or 3 hours because of the monstrous traffic jams called colas) from Caracas. The temperature is always around 60 or 70, and it rains almost every day. My host family is absolutely awesome. My host father is chubby and funny, his name is Ezequiel. My host mother, Milagros, is what the Venezuelans refer to as bochinche, which as far as as I can tell means party animal, she loves to dance and talk until around three in the morning. I also have a host sister, Maria Luisa, who is quiet and shy, but we get along very well.

I started school two weeks ago and I am so happy! The school is a big and very well kept Catholic school, with about five hundred students. The kids learn in salons, which is like a homeroom, and the salons have been together since the first year of school. The students accepted me whole-heartedly, and I already have costillas (which literally in Spanish means ribs, but is a saying for really good friends). This weekend is already totally full, and on Monday we´re going to the movies. An interesting thing about school is the way girls and boys interact, boys and girls who are friends will hold hands, give each other massages, stroke each other's hair, etc. It took me a while to get used to, but now I feel comfortable.

The first two weeks here I was very homesick, since I was alone most of the time in a big house, and my Spanish was really bad, but since I've started school, the only thing I have to complain about are the mosquitoes, and the fact that all of you aren't here.

Venezuela, despite being a beautiful country naturally, is very run down. People litter all over the streets, there's graffiti on all of the buildings, and a lot of bad stuff goes down in the cities. For example, two teenagers were shot randomly on a bus in Los Teques (a town close to mine), I've been warned about a drug from Columbia that people touch you with and you lose your memory and free will, and basically do whatever that person says until the drug wears off. There's also a law here that if there are rooms in your house that nobody is sleeping in, anybody without a home can come in and live there. It's kind of a scary place, but also a welcoming one, because most of the people are so nice, and will give you the clothes off their back. Also, I'm never afraid because I'm never alone, I'm always with family or my friends.

So in summary: Venezuela-beautiful, host family-nice, school and friends-super awesome. I miss everybody lots! My phone number here is (removed for security reasons), but you should only call me once a month. I love you all!

Befy update #1

Bethany's been in Venezuela for almost 3 weeks. You may be wondering why I haven't written about her before now. Honestly? I don't think I could have completed the task without crying, and the tears would have been so copious the computer would have shorted out.

Because her departure is so thorough (none of that "in and out" with the first few years of college) I went through a process that I'm sure is akin to losing a loved one through death. At times I felt ridiculously silly for finding some of her hair and crying over it. Hair, that when she was here, would activate that "irritated mom" tone of voice and facial expression. You know the one....the one that activates the adolescent whining about how much their parents "yell" at them.

I started the long, arduous process of cleaning up her room a fews days after she left. Bethany herself looks sweet, clean and put together, but trust me....it ends with her personal grooming. Each time I went in there, I could stay as long as it took to find one of her poems or something and then the water works would start. It's taken a long time to finish her room.

My missing her was bad enough but then I got an e-mail from her the first Sunday morning stating she was so homesick and unhappy that she was thinking about coming home. She sent this e-mail to both her parents and after we had a parental conference, we agreed that her dad would call her that night, and I would call her the next day, on her 18th birthday. She was happy to hear from us but when I called, she wasn't able to talk for a bit because she was crying. It took everything I had to keep myself from encouraging her to come home. I didn't, of course, because if she DID come home, she would come to regret her decision and resent me for influencing her.

She's doing MUCH better now. During our last phone call she asked me to not call more than once a month. Those are the rules for communicating that Rotary established. We can write as much as we want. It only takes a letter 2 weeks and $.90 to reach her.

She started school yesterday. National law requires that all school children wear uniforms. This is what they look like:
She has to wear the tan polo and navy blue pants. She was disappointed that it wasn't the type of uniform that Japanese girls wear to school:

You have NO idea how relieved I am!!
I got a message from Bethany today that at school everyone was nice, helpful and that the hideous uniform didn't hide her from the boys. She had lots of invitations to parties, the movies and to play pool. She also told me she'd gotten a mani/pedi and had gone to a salsa dance class. I think she's going to be just fine.

Some general info about her whereabouts: Her host family is made up of a mom, dad, and 12 year old sister. They also have a 17 year old son who is an exchange student to France this year. Bethany says her host family is "great." They speak VERY little English and I speak VERY little Spanish, so my phone calls to her have been interesting, to say the least! The family lives in a town called Carrizal which is in the state of Miranda. It's about 30 miles southwest of Caracas. Maybe you knew this but I didn't -- the island of Aruba is right off the coast of Venezuela.

Here are some pictures of Caracas. I couldn't find any of Carrizal, but hopefully Bethany will send some soon.
She's created a blog to post pictures and weekly updates of her experiences. She hasn't updated the blog since she left the States but then her host family doesn't have Internet connection. She's been writing to me, her dad and her boyfriend Michael whenever she can get to an Internet cafe. Here's the address to her blog in case you want to keep up with her when she starts posting:

http://befyinvenezuela.blogspot.com/

BTW, "Befy" is what Brennan calls her. We think it's cute and it's a lot easier and quicker to say than "Bethany."