Staring down Middle Age

A couple of days ago I turned 45.

FORTY-FIVE.

That sounds really, REALLY old to me. Like empty-nest-near-retirement old. Well, I'm close to that....I mean, I DO have a kid in college and another very close behind. And I AM thinking about retirement, every now and then, when I'm not thinking about how to pay for college. That alone causes wrinkles and gray hair!

But then I also have these mini-muffins and most of their friends' parents are 10 to 15 years younger than me. We do a lot of "younger people" stuff (not even sure what that is, but whatever).

I try not to think about it too much and usually there's just too much to do and keep track of to dwell on my aging.

Most of the time I feel GOOD (read "young"), but I do get a shock when I look in the mirror -- especially when I first wake up, and just before I go to bed, and at various times during the day. OK. Pretty much all the time I look in the mirror. Like John Mellencamp says: "I look in the mirror.....what the hell happened to me?!"

So, everyday I reach into my "don't look too old yet" arsenal and pull out the various weapons in there: the hydroxy skin cream, the tinted moisturizer with retinol, my hair stylist/colorist, "artful" make-up application, youngish-looking clothing (but not TOO young looking because I don't want to be a joke), glasses (when the bags under my eyes are especially heavy), and of course, a pretty good diet and exercise regime. Particularly running.

I do think both the teens and the minis keep me young. You have to be sharp and active to stay on top of it all. But the running gives me that little extra "something." It gives me challenges that I can overcome most of the time. And although I'm not very fast, I'm plucky, and I keep at it. Doggedly. Just like I will with all the rest of the stuff that makes up this life. A life that is very rich and for which I am very grateful.

So I'll stare down Middle Age, but with a smile. Because I'm pretty sure that's a big part of aging gracefully.